"Wow, so your book is out?" Jennifer Aniston said. She took a mini sip of Pinot Grigio.
"Well, yeah, it officially came out September 1st but the publisher released it in August," I said. We were at this small place called Supper in Alphabet City.
"An author, a real author..." Her blue eyes sparkled and she looked at me so long I started to get uncomfortable.
"Hey, I'm no Tim Maleeny."
"What's it about?" Jenn toyed with her wine glass running a slender finger along its rim.
"Oh, come on. I don't want to bore you." I paused and looked at her. "What about Friends and your movies," I panicked slightly not being able to remember any of the movie titles.
"Please..." She said and scrunched up her face in that adorable Jennway. "Tell me what its about."
"Okay," I sighed. Before becoming a big deal published author I dreamed of beautiful women asking me about it. Now, frankly, it had become tiresome.
"It's called On the Ropes, A Duffy Dombrowski Mystery and there's this social worker about to get fired from his job because he never does the paper work. He's also a bad pro boxer who lives in a trailer. He winds up trying to solve the murder of one of his down and out clients and save her step daughter from an internet porn ring. In the meantime he has to adopt his client's obstinate Black Muslim basset hound, Allah-King. Then--"
Jenn interrupted.
"What's obstinate mean?"
"You know, disobedient." I say.
"Oh..."
"So anyway, then Duffy, the main character, uncovers a terrorist plot, corrupt doctors and maybe a plot to blow up Yankee Stadium." I was glad my description was over. It's so tedious going over the plot again and again.
"That sounds soooo cool. Where can I get it?"
"Most bookstores, though I prefer the independents."
She tosses her hair and looks away. Then she puts her hand over her mouth and sort of giggles. She shakes her head.
"What?" I say.
"Oh...I don't know. it's just..." She looks away again, frowns and her eyes seem just a little wet.
"What?"
"It's just that the guys I know...the guys I'm used to... they're so...I don't know...shallow. But you...you're an author," she says.
I feign a smile. I get this a lot lately.
"Will their be others?" Her playful giggle is gone and in its place is a kind of sad intense look.
"Sure, TKO comes out in June and then there's Out Cold which I'm working on now. After that there will be one where Duffy and Al go to Las Vegas. But--"
I didn't get to finish.
"I didn't mean other books."
She looks down and I can sense she's embarrassed. "I meant... oh, never mind."
Her eyes well up again only this time I was almost sure a tear would escape.
It was awkward.
Being a big deal author often was.
"Well, yeah, it officially came out September 1st but the publisher released it in August," I said. We were at this small place called Supper in Alphabet City.
"An author, a real author..." Her blue eyes sparkled and she looked at me so long I started to get uncomfortable.
"Hey, I'm no Tim Maleeny."
"What's it about?" Jenn toyed with her wine glass running a slender finger along its rim.
"Oh, come on. I don't want to bore you." I paused and looked at her. "What about Friends and your movies," I panicked slightly not being able to remember any of the movie titles.
"Please..." She said and scrunched up her face in that adorable Jennway. "Tell me what its about."
"Okay," I sighed. Before becoming a big deal published author I dreamed of beautiful women asking me about it. Now, frankly, it had become tiresome.
"It's called On the Ropes, A Duffy Dombrowski Mystery and there's this social worker about to get fired from his job because he never does the paper work. He's also a bad pro boxer who lives in a trailer. He winds up trying to solve the murder of one of his down and out clients and save her step daughter from an internet porn ring. In the meantime he has to adopt his client's obstinate Black Muslim basset hound, Allah-King. Then--"
Jenn interrupted.
"What's obstinate mean?"
"You know, disobedient." I say.
"Oh..."
"So anyway, then Duffy, the main character, uncovers a terrorist plot, corrupt doctors and maybe a plot to blow up Yankee Stadium." I was glad my description was over. It's so tedious going over the plot again and again.
"That sounds soooo cool. Where can I get it?"
"Most bookstores, though I prefer the independents."
She tosses her hair and looks away. Then she puts her hand over her mouth and sort of giggles. She shakes her head.
"What?" I say.
"Oh...I don't know. it's just..." She looks away again, frowns and her eyes seem just a little wet.
"What?"
"It's just that the guys I know...the guys I'm used to... they're so...I don't know...shallow. But you...you're an author," she says.
I feign a smile. I get this a lot lately.
"Will their be others?" Her playful giggle is gone and in its place is a kind of sad intense look.
"Sure, TKO comes out in June and then there's Out Cold which I'm working on now. After that there will be one where Duffy and Al go to Las Vegas. But--"
I didn't get to finish.
"I didn't mean other books."
She looks down and I can sense she's embarrassed. "I meant... oh, never mind."
Her eyes well up again only this time I was almost sure a tear would escape.
It was awkward.
Being a big deal author often was.
6 comments:
Wow, Tom, I had almost this exact same discussion with Jimmy Smits the other night. But it was me giggling, tossing my hair, and wanting to stiffle a tear.
Tom - I see you found my other author photo.
"Hey, you're no Tim Maleeny?"?????
Well, of course, who is. (It's really all about the covers, for God sakes!)
You are a funny man. In truth, Jen wouldn't give me the time of day until I told her that I knew how to box. Give it a try, works every time.
Hey Tom, where's her "Got Milk" moustache or do we not want to know...
The other Tom (Selleck) got misty with me just the other night when he declared, "Sure, Jilly is beautiful, but she's never actually written a book." I threw my head back and laughed in defiance as I explained why his character keeps reappearing in my novels.
where is her milk mustache?
Felicia, you're all right.
Post a Comment