I am addicted to House. In fact, I consider Sunday nights date night with my television because a double-header of House reruns are on USA Network, and Hugh Laurie always puts out. Actually, it's the series' writers who always give me what I need. The show is consistently uncomfortable, intelligent, funny, and original (though I've noticed an over-reliance on chelation in season 4). It's the best detective show on the air, and millions of people, like me, can't get enough.
The genius of the show is the central character, Dr. Gregory House, played by Hugh Laurie. (My friend Julia Buckley says she has a hard time adjusting to his American accent but we both agree that he is perfectly cast.) His character is eminently unlikable and doesn't care, which makes him fascinating. He doesn't run with the herd yet he manages to succeed, and we all want to know why.
During a recent Sunday House juggernaut, I was flipping stations during a commercial and ended up on the Discovery channel, which, as usual, was covering something really gross. I watched long enough to get the gist and flitted to E!, which was airing The Girls Next Door. One of the ladies was having a problem due to her enhancement surgery. I switched back to House, which was now on, and 
an idea began niggling at me. There was a thread connecting these three shows. So, I turned back to the Discovery channel, back to The Girls Next Door, back to House, back to the Discovery channel, back to The Girls Next Door, and voila: I had a thrilling idea for a House episode--there'd be the central medical drama thanks to what I'd just seen on Discovery, continued character development in line with the direction of the series, and the humor that holds the show together, inspired by the "issue" I'd caught on The Girls Next Door (thanks, fake boobs). Talk about a strange stew.
As I sketched my ideas, I started to imagine what it would be like to write words that other people act out, to create characters that real people slip into like suits. I'm a novelist, and the words I write are meant to stay on the page, a note from me to you. But to write a script? I was taken with the idea. The television writers I have heard speak and those writers I know whose books were lucky enough to be turned into movies grumble at the experience--too many cooks spoiling your broth--but I thrive on collaboration.
So I've begun a teleplay for the House episode burbling in my head. I own one book on writing teleplays, penned by Lee Goldberg, and in it, he assures me I'd have better luck turning water into wine than selling a teleplay on spec, but that's true of any fiction writing, right? It's not a business venture for the practical.
In that vein, anyone have advice for me on writing teleplays, or the phone number for David Shore, the head writer and showrunner for House?
11 comments:
I don't know a thing about this process, but I've heard that if you want to write for House, you should submit to them a teleplay for some very different show, like Friends or something. Apparently, many producers will not even look at a spec script for their own show because if they turn it down, the writer will sue them if a later episode bears even a passing resemblance to the rejected script or even a small part of it. By submitting for a different show, you give them a sense of your skill in the medium without threatening their creative control at the outset.
If your agent has Hollywood connections, Jess, I guess that's where you'd start. Maybe that was your plan, anyway.
Like Paul, I know nothing about this, but I'm sure he's right that if a script comes from "nowhere" they may not even open the envelope.
p.s. It's the episodes of Midsomer Murders I'd like to write. ;-)
Paul, I've heard that tv shows have to be very careful about being sued because there's a lot of litigious writers out there, but I hope you're wrong that they won't even look at a teleplay for their show because it's not that I want to be a television writer, I want to write this one episode. So, I guess I'll write it anyways.
Good advice, Gin. And I've never heard of that show. What's it about, and what would happen in your premier episode?
Very ambitious, Jess. And good luck to you!
The only teleplay I'm interested in writing is one based on my Odelia Grey books. Or my
Granny Apple books. :)
Sue Ann, word on the street is that we might be lucky enough to see one or more of your series on the small screen one of these days, so good luck right back at you!
Gin, in re to Midsomer Murders, I am sorry to report that after umpteen years on the air, everyone in Midsomer is either dead, in jail, or investigating.
Jess - Midsomer is a bit hard to explain. As Keith says, people get bumped off in droves - at least 3 per episode. It's set in England, always filmed in the most beautiful villages imaginable. and stars Inspector Barnaby, who is both smart and adorable.
I don't have a particular episode in mind to write, although the St. Just books have a lot in common with Midsomer.
By the way, this series was written by Caroline Graham originally. It's since been handed off to other writers, and I recently heard she had no intention of writing any more of the Barnaby books. Very bad news for us fans.
You can get the Midsomer series from Netflix.
On Jess's advice, I just watched House again, and I ended up crying all night. Thanks, Jess. :)
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