I've noticed something lately - maybe you have too. Have you noticed that the tabloid's have, for weeks now, been on the Jolie vs. Aniston "feud?" What is all the fuss about? Am I missing something? Is it that I'm a guy and I don't care? Am I supposed to pick sides in this feud? For me, it's a little like the Mary Ann or Ginger question - you know, from Gilligan's Island?
So I turned to an expert in these matters and asked my wife about this troubling situation. As a way of an answer she said that she hates Angelina Jolie but likes Jennifer Aniston. Against my better judgement, I pressed on. "Why," the troubled husband asked?
Now, for you gentlemen out there, this might not sound like a valid answer but I've learned that when "she who must be obeyed" says "because", it means shut up and move on. Drop the subject because this is a "woman" thing and I'll never understand it. I'm not programed to understand it because I'm a guy and only another woman would understand why Jolie is detestable and Jennifer Aniston is the victim in this feud. Does it have something to do with that bloke Brad Pitt? That's the connection right? It has to have something to do with that dastardly male, Brad Pitt.
But what really interests me, as a writer, is the conflict. Why, after years of being apart, is this poor Jennifer Aniston still linked to this cheesy mustachioed Brad Pitt? The dude hooked up with another woman and has kids with her. Move on. Move on Jennifer and move on tabloids. But there is inherent conflict there, clearly. Why else would the magazines keep promoting the feud - be it real or imagined? There clearly must be something sinister that they aren't telling us. UFO's are involved, I can feel it. Maybe a Bigfoot or two. Maybe Jolie tried to sell Aniston a senate seat. Come on. One of you must know. Please tell me because inquiring minds want to know.