Thursday, June 4, 2009
By Deborah Sharp
If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one to do a Facebook status update, does the tree really exist?
Let me blog about it, collect some comments, Google it to find out if anyone else is blogging about it, check some Yahoo groups to discover whether a fallen tree is coming up in any threads, and get back to you. I'll post my conclusion as a status update on my Facebook page.
Is it just me, or is this stream of e-chatter drowning out real life? I'm sure scads of Facebookians lead dramatic, interesting existences. I just don't happen to know them. And I'm definitely not one of them. I mean, here I am staring at computer screen with a picture of a virtual tree. Been a while since I've hiked in a forest among actual trees.
I confess: I've ''hidden'' my most boring FB friends (none of you guys, of course). Even so, I get quizzes, promotional links, and endless updates on the mundane details of daily life. People are shopping. They're eating. They're cleaning up after eating. I even got an update that said so-and-so was breathing.
Oh, wait. That last update was me. My bad.
I'm a professional writer. Even if I'm not fascinating, I can make it sound like I am. And it won't require me to get a real life. I'll just lie. Who's going to stop me? The Facebook police?
In reality, Deborah Sharp is crouched over the kitchen table in ratty gym shorts, obsessively checking her cyber-vitals: email, Facebook, Amazon ranking (Darn. Still not in the Top 10.)
But here's what my Facebook friends may read:
Deborah Sharp . . . is sharing a private joke at the White House with President and Mrs. Obama
. . . is riding a bull in the Women's Professional Rodeo
. . . is preparing to pilot the space shuttle Endeavour
So, if a more interesting Deborah Sharp exists on Facebook, does she truly exist?
What about you? What's your fantasy status update?