Diary of an Envious Author

by Felicia Donovan

My nine-year old friend, Alex, recently loaned me his copy of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I've watched this series climb up the bookselling charts to hit the number one spot both in adult and children's categories and was ever so curious about it.

An hour and exactly 224 pages later (a quick read, I assure you), I understood why. Author Jeff Kinney has managed to capture the developmentally immature, mischievous antics of socially-challenged Greg Heffley, an angst-driven adolescent who makes life anything but mundane. The stick-like figure cartoons lend hilarity in their sardonic simplicity.  It's not often that I find myself chuckling out loud while reading, but when skinny Greg tries to dupe teens out of money, he preemptively asks his out-of-shape friend, Rowley, to teach him some karate moves, "But Rowley said he's a gold belt in karate and he wasn't going to teach his moves to a 'no belt."

Once again, I'm kicking myself in the tooshie for not having thought of writing it first. Angst? You want angst? How about my nightmare of being the fourth child in a line of straight "A" smarties - all of whom had the same teachers. "You are related, aren't you?" Mrs. Allgrove asked as she studied me over her bifocals, mystified that unlike my siblings before me, I couldn't tell a polygon from a polliwog.

Sarcastic whit? Did you not hear that I was President of the Club? Read the t-shirt and buy a clue.

Adolescent hi-jinx? I'll journal my little heart out about skipping classes to go to the beach and thinking we would get caught and be thrown in jail or worse - sent home to face our mothers.

Another great series I coulda, shoulda, woulda written -- if only I'd thought of it first. Hats off to you Jeff Kinney. That's okay, I have an idea for another book about what to and not to eat. My working title is Eat This, Get Fat. It's got bestseller written all over it, don't you think?