Thursday, December 17, 2009

What Makes a Bestseller?


I took a class “How to Write a Bestseller” a few years ago. The instructor had never written a bestseller, but he’d read and analyzed a whole bunch to determine what they had in common. He planned to write his own novel titled—you guessed it—How to Write a Bestseller.

I haven’t seen his book or even his name in print since. Maybe I’m just not looking in the right places. But I like to think everyone has a little genius in them, and some of the things he said bear repeating. In fact, he may have been repeating the genius of others. I may, therefore, be guilty of the same.

Here’s the “How To” rules I remember:

*The opening chapter lets the reader know immediately where the story is headed.
*The stakes start high and escalate.
*The setting takes us somewhere extraordinary.
*The conflicts are layered.
*The characters are complex with unique voices.
*Two named characters dominate each scene.
*Tension leaps off every page.
*Every chapter ends with an irresistible cliffhanger.
*The story affirms the reader’s values and beliefs.
*The writing is concise, utilizing an economy of words.
*Dialog is more prevalent than narrative or description.
*The writer believes the reader is intelligent (hence no need for a lot of back story or explanations).
*Framing is used within the story.
*Bestsellers start with a “high concept.”

The last bestseller I read was Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts. Although the book is from 1995, my book club just selected it for our upcoming meeting. Oprah picked this novel for her book club in 1998. Its film release followed in 2000 although the film rights sold in 1995 (I saw the movie years ago, too—love Natalie Portman). Don’t ask me if Oprah propelled the book onto the bestseller list, because I don’t know for sure. But I don’t think so. She most likely sent it into the stratosphere.

For those of you who don’t know the story, a pregnant seventeen-year-old, Novalee Nation, takes up residence in a Wal-Mart after her boyfriend abandons her there during their move across the country. I won’t bore you with the analysis, but I could check off almost every item on the list after reading the book. In fact, the book was so good, for while I thought it might have been a true story (because, of course, truth is stranger than fiction).

Now I haven’t written a bestseller yet, but I have to admit when I analyze my work, I can’t check off all these items on the list either. I do think about this list when I write, when I read, and when I watch movies, wondering if a bestselling formula really exists.

So, what rules do you keep in mind when you’re writing? And when you think about the bestsellers you’ve read—or viewed on screen—what would you add or subtract from this list?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tacky Light Tours


In our neck of the woods, one can rent a stretch limo and view the best light displays in town. With a television displaying crackling fire and an endless supply of hot chocolate, one could have a three-hour tour for right around $400.

I decided to take the cheap route. I printed a map of the best light displays from

http://www.tackylighttour.com, loaded my kids in the car, and turned the radio to a local station playing Christmas music all day long until December 25th.

Most of the houses were fun to look at, but nothing took my breath away until we arrived at our last stop – a mother-son team who had more than 500,000 lights strung between their neighboring houses. The son, who begins hanging lights in September, has some displays (like this traffic signal tree) that I’ve never seen before.

My kids and I got out of the car and walked around, giddy and giggling. Dozens of other families were there and everyone was smiling and pointing at one wonder after another. In that moment, we were all little kids. It was truly magical.

Do you have a tacky light house near you? Do you love them or hate them?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Drunk Writers, by Jess Lourey

Keith Raffel, acclaimed writer of Smasher, is famous for his love of image green tea. He’ll be the first to tell you he has a multi-cup habit, and as I type and drink my red wine, I wonder if “green tea” is a euphemism for something a bit edgier. (Sorry, Keith. It’s all those undergrad psych classes catching up with me. Or the red wine.)

The myth of the drunk writer is long and storied (ha! storied): Truman Capote, while writing In Cold Blood, got so drunk one night image that he fell on the pavement, chipping his teeth and smashing his head open. Jack London tied his first one on at age five. Hemingway swigged tea and gin for breakfast and absinthe for lunch. And don’t forget Edgar Allen Poe, Steinbeck, Lowry, Faulkner, O'Neill , Parker, and Sinclair Lewis.

Are these stories aberrations? Not according to the American Journal of Psychiatry, which in a study found image that 30 percent of writers were alcoholics, compared with 7 percent in the comparison group of nonwriters. The author of Alcohol and the Writer discovered that after bartenders, more writers die of cirrhosis of the liver than people in any other occupation (but maybe he was drinking when he wrote that).

So what gives? Is Freud correct in his assertion that creativity is a response to emotional pain, and artists are simply suffering more than the average folk? Or is it the necessarily lonesome life of the writer that makes us more likely to self-medicate?

I’d like input on this from both drinking and non-drinking writers. And for the record, I have a hard time remembering to blink both eyes simultaneously after a couple glasses of red, forget writing a novel.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Say Cheese!

Cricket McRae

This is the new cover for my fourth Sophie Mae Reynolds Home Crafting Mystery. It will be released in the spring of 2010. My cover designer, Lisa Novak, has done it again. Simple, sensuous, appealing yet with a hint of danger. A knife. Broken glass. Spots of vivid red.

This time around I got to kill someone by bashing them over the head with a bottle of heavy cream. Thank you, Raconteurs, for the song Carolina Drama. Inspiration comes in all forms.

As you can see from the cover, Something Borrowed, Something Bleu features cheese making as the backdrop to the mystery. I started making cheese about fifteen years ago, mostly jack and cheddar. It took months to properly age, and I had to keep an eye on humidity and temperature during that process. When I started writing this book I dove into it again, this time focusing on fresh cheeses like mozzarella, paneer, queso fresco, ricotta and fromage blanc.

I love cheese. Lots of people love cheese, it turns out. And lo and behold, there is a very good reason for this. Sure there are the awesome, often intense, flavors. The textures. The melty goodness. The way it accents pasta, eggs and fruit. But there's also the PEA.

Phenylethylamine, or PEA, is the love drug. The one that makes us feel giddy and goofy, clouds our judgment and in many ways makes us downright stoopid. Some studies have concluded PEA affects the human brain like cocaine. Brain scans of people in the head-over-heels stage of falling in love resemble those of psychotics. It's strong stuff.

Chocolate contains PEA. That's one of the (many) reasons chocolate makes us happy. But get a load of this: Cheese contains more PEA than chocolate. One study I ran across said ten times more.

Yea, baby. That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, oh, catch that buzz.
Cheese is the drug I'm thinkin' of.

And PEA isn't the only drug cheese contains, either. I grew up thinking penicillin came from bread mold. Not so, I eventually learned. Those charcoal blue streaks in bleu cheeses? Yep. Penicillin.

Now, I doubt eating a hunk of bleu cheese would cure an infection, but I'd sure be willing to give it a try.

But wait! There's more!

Cheese made from organic raw milk from grass fed cows contains high amounts of CLAs, or conjugated linoleic acids. These are omega 6 fatty acids vital to health. They're potent anticarginogens, may prevent atherosclerosis, ease inflammation, and even adjust metabolism to increase weight loss. And CLA from animal sources is the easiest for human digestion to access.

That's right. Cheese can be good for your heart and help you lose weight. How crazy is THAT? Plus, it makes you happy, happy, happy..

No wonder we love it!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Inkspot News - December 12, 2009

Beth Groundwater's science fiction thriller novella, The Epsilon Eridani Alternative, will (finally!) be released by Virtual Tales on Tuesday, December 15th in eBook and paperback form. The short blurb is: "What would you do if you were confronted with a 'kill or be-killed' scenario? What if that meant that you had to kill an infant of an alien species to save your own life? And what if the future of the human race depended on your decision?" If you sign up for a trial subscription at Virtual Tales to the first few chapters before the 15th, you'll have an opportunity to purchase the novella at 40% off the list price of $9.95.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Who's Going to Tell Carl Hiaasen?



By Deborah Sharp

I'm hiding out from Carl Hiaasen.

I fear that at any moment, the doorbell will chime or my phone will ring and it'll be the famous Miami Herald columnist turned zillion-seller mystery novelist turned author of award-winning kids' books. He'll want to challenge me to a smack-down, which I could not possibly win. Wouldn't even try. Hell, I'll give it up right now. It's over, Hiaasen. I'm throwing in the towel.

Your crown is safe, sir. I am not, nor have I ever been, ''Florida's Funniest Mystery Writer.''

I attribute the whole misunderstanding to over-enthusiasm on the part of the press-release writers from Nova Southeastern University. Either that, or they were smoking some really good dope. They used that Florida's Funniest phrase to tout my recent appearance at the campus near Fort Lauderdale. Even worse, the words weren't buried somewhere deep in the release. They were right in the headline, all the easier for the search engines to find.

Go ahead. Google ''Floridas Funniest Mystery Writer,'' no apostrophe. See who comes up. Hint: It's not Mr. Hiaasen.

I won't deny there are some chuckles and a few belly laughs in my Mace Bauer Mystery series, featuring Mace's wacky mama. But I can think of a quick list of Florida mystery writers who are funnier than me:

1. Hiaasen, of course
2. Bob Morris
3. Tim Dorsey
4. Elaine Viets

I won't go on . . . why humiliate myself further?

So, there it is. I'm Florida's Funniest Mystery Writer. It says so on the Internet. And as any of the Girls Gone Wild can tell you, once something's on the Internet, it never goes away.

Unless, that is, Hiaasen finds me for that smack-down, and he's carrying a golf club. A very big club. I get pounded, and a bunch of new headlines pop up to lower the press release's standing. I can see it now: "Florida's Funniest Mystery Writer Injured. Former Title-Holder Charged.''

How about you, authors? Ever had hype that's hard to live up to? Or, do you subscribe to the ''any publicity is good publicity'' argument? Readers, ever been disappointed by over-hype?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Triple Play

Last week I did something I never thought I would do in a million years. No, scratch that. Two things I never thought I’d do in a million years.

First, I signed contracts with Midnight Ink to write a third mystery series. Now, I know a lot of writers have written three series during their career, but I agreed to write this new series while still cranking out my other two, the Odelia Grey mystery series and the Ghost of Granny Apples mystery series. I agreed to write three books a year.

Three. Tres. Trois. Triplets. A virtual trifecta of murder and mayhem.

And, no, I am not quitting my day job.

I know. I know. I’m nuts. And it’s not like I haven’t been hearing that assessment of my mental state for the past several weeks.

The second oddity in all this is that the new series is a vampire series. Yes, with fangs and everything. While this is the current rage, it was never on my radar until the past year, and even then not fully in the front of my brain until the last couple of months. And while the publishing business is known for moving slower than a glacier, things moved quickly from idea to paper to my agent to submissions, and even faster through the deal and contract phase. It was enough to give a whirling dervish motion sickness.

And now it’s moving even faster. The first book in the series, currently entitled I Could Bite You Forever, is due to my publisher on February 1st. This February 1st – February 1, 2010 not February 1, 2011. I’ve never written a book that fast, but there’s always a first time. Every moment that I am not at my job as a paralegal, I am pounding the keys of the computer, cranking out the pages, trying to write as cleanly and concisely as possible. And you know what? It’s coming together. It definitely helped that I had my research completed before the deal was struck.

Now the burning question everyone is asking: Why? Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you commit to writing three books a year?

Because the books are in my brain and want to come out. Because vampires are hot right now and may not be in a few years. Because in publishing today, the smart writer has more than one iron in the fire.

Because I want to.

I will admit, writing a vampire mystery novel would never have interested me unless I could put a different spin on it. So, folks, meet the Dedhams – an active and attractive retired couple, who just happen to be vampires who solve mysteries. Coming September 2010 to a bookstore near you. And we’re having red velvet cake at the launch party.

A lot of fun things come in 3's - hope that applies to my books.

Gotta run, I see a block of fifteen minutes where I can squeeze in a paragraph or two.


Sue Ann Jaffarian
www.sueannjaffarian.com
Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My New Duffy Dombrowski Mystery


by Tom Schreck

Hey Everybody!

My new Duffy Dombrowski Mystery was released on 12/1. If you look for it on the Midnight Ink website you won't find it. It was published by Echelon Press and I happy to report it is already in a second printing.

This time around Duffy suffers a head injury in the ring right around the time that he gets a new schizophrenic ex-GI on his caseload. Karl believes in all of the world's conspiracies. When Karl's wacky illumanti predictions start coming true, Duffy joins him in an effort to thwart them. Their first stop: Notre Dame, on the Michigan game weekend, to stop a Columbine-type massacre. Then it's back to Duffy's old high school for another act of terrorism and, maybe, along the way, there's even a nefarious basset hound puppy mill that the boys need to help out.

If you want to get it signed and support basset hound rescue you can get it from the ABC Basset Rescue group's Slobber Shop where 100% of the profit helps the hounds.

Go to http://www.nybasset.org

Thanks!