Actually, he got a lot right. With the exception of Liv Tyler, whose probably fine in other things, the casting was superb. At times unexpected, but all the more delightful for the surprise. And I give Jackson credit for putting together a striking visual treat. I don't regret the missing Tom Bombadil or certain other liberties with the story. But, and I'm just being brutally honest here, he did kinda miss the major point of the book, as displayed most keenly in the first movie when Aerosmith's daughter zapped Frodo. See? She zapped Frodo, but when she did it, she wasn't Arwen, but rather Liv Tyler with a cheesy accent. How did that happen in a movie where everyone else was so spot on? That's what I want to know. And, yes, I was okay with raising the pulse rate of the Aragorn/Arwen love story, but she didn't zap Frodo. It didn't happen, it didn't happen, it didn't happen! And it rooooined it. It made trivial everything sacrifice Frodo made from thence forward. (Note the use of "thence" in an actual sentence in the 21st century).
Obviously I'm taking this too seriously. But I'm not, really. I have an out. You see, the movie, while delightful to look at, especially if you fast-forward through the Aerosmith parts, doesn't actually exist. The only movie less existent is the previous Ralph Bakshi variant, described at the Internet Movie Database as "Not As Bad AS I Thought It Would Be." Which is a charming sentiment, but also wrong. It was worse.
The thing is, I've read The Lord of the Rings about a hundred million times. Of course I've multi-read The Hobbit too. Hell, I've even read The Silmarillion — more than once. Why? you might ask. And even if you don't ask, I'm telling you. The Lord of the Rings is my comfort food. Anytime something bad is about to happen to me that I know about in advance (for example, gall bladder surgery or volunteering for the Army) I read The Lord of the Rings. I can probably recite whole sections of it from memory, though trust me, you don't want to get me started.
I'm thinking about this because I read this article today online about the travails of mixing literary tastes and dating, about the benefits and perils of judging a significant other by the books they claim. Not just the books they read, but the books they claim. Their significant books. The books that somehow touched them or shaped them (or, okay, sure, maybe didn't shape them at all). Got me to thinking about whether I would be married right now if I'd admitted to this Lord of the Rings thing while my wife and I were dating. I mean, seriously. Have you read what I said above? Am I out of my mind? Emails to Peter Jackson?
And here's what's worse. I didn't actually SEND the emails, I just fantasized about sending them. I let other people do the actually sending, and just applauded them from the safety of my basement lair. How pathetic is that?
Here's another book that is really important to me: The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge by Barbee Oliver Carleton. I first read it in fourth grade, and then proceeded to re-read it approximately as often as I've reread The Lord of the Rings. It's been a bit of a problem though, because it's always been published in a cheap paperback format which tends to disintegrate by the time I've gotten through it four or five times, which means I have to go back to the Amazon Marketplace well again and again for yet another battered used copy. Tragic, really. But then, the average price these days is 39¢, or nine dollars with shipping and handling.
Anyway. You should read it. Brilliant YA noir, if you can believe such a beast actually exists. It does. It's in this book, in fact. The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge. Remember that title. Tattoo in your arm, just in case. Well worth it. Great characters, taut plot, sleep-interrupting suspense, and unexpected redemption yet with a note of ambivalence and ambiguity. This is a book that deserves much more attention than it's gotten. It's a book I wouldn't mind being judged for one bit. Hell, I even tell my wife when I'm reading it again. And she rolls her eyes and pats me on the head — or maybe she's taking my temperature. I'll let you be the judge of that.
So now, I've confessed. Your turn. What's yours, the book or books for which you're okay about being judged?
23 comments:
Dude,
I am in awe of you (even, if, frankly, I think you're completely WRONG, because I, you know, happen to think that Peter Jackson's TLOTR is BETTER, MUCH BETTER, than the books)...
I am in awe of you because you've read The Silmarillion more than once. Once was significantly more times than I wanted to read it, and was plenty. You, you, you're a madman, my friend.
Movies, after all, are the director's vision of something, and have different constraints than books. I bought Jackson's TLOTR is brilliant. That said, I could have lived w/out Liv Tyler as well, although I think she made a decent elf; that whole love affair is a footnote in the books and I suppose King Aragorn needed a wife at the end.
And really, have you gone back to read TLOTR since seeing the movies? What's with Aragorn, anyway? Doesn't this guy ever shut up? Pages and pages of expository dialogue, as if Aragorn (and just about every other character) is an earnest Oxford don who's been sipping too much Bushmills between lectures? Gimme a break. Jackson made some definite improvement.
Mmmm, Bushmill's.
But wait. You are WRONG!
No, to be fair, Jackson would have been WRONG to make the movie like the book. So you are RIGHT in that regard. But about something else. Um.
What were we talking about?
I liked the young Aerosmith maiden. But beyond that, Bill, you're starting to scare us here.
Liv Tyler is hot. All of you shut up or I will come to your house and push you down.
Sorry, my tourettes kicked in there.
"Far Tortuga" by Peter Mattheissen. Not for the faint of heart...
I have a friend who has two bookshelves. One is in her living room and has the books she wants to be known for. It includes Lord of the Rings, by the way. It also includes a book about the Shakers and some boring philosophy stuff that I never understand. The other bookshelf is in her bedroom and has the books she is currently enjoying reading. Woe to the book she likes -- it gets trapped out there in the living room! The others are passed on to discerning readers like myself. :)
I vaguely remember The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge, so will definitely find it and re-read it again.
Personally I was thankful for anything female in TLOTR. The books are so very full of men and men and many more men (mostly talking a lot). It is a story about war, however, which is more a man's domain, so I forgive the absence of women. Also the writing is just so darn good.
As for reading a book until it falls apart, for me it is the little bit in Return of the King when Eowyn finally has a great line and kills the worst dragon. I destroy that book over and over from reading that one section!
Didnt like/get Liv Tyler! How gay are you? She could read me the New York telephone directory in Elvish and I would still have a cucumber in my pants ....
I'm so gay that I was salivating over Cate Blanchett.
Cate Blanchett is hot. All of you shut up....
Sorry, Tourettes again....
Someone just came in my office an pushed me down, then ran out again.
I've been doing some research on physics for a book I'm writing. Many, in fact most, theoretical physicists believe there are five or more dimensions. You guys must be living in one of those dimensions I don't.
Keith = win
Multiple dimensions are hot.....
I think Cate Blanchette is hot, too. But I thought everyone agreed that Orlando Bloom was the prettiest elf in LOTR.
Mark 1 and Mark 2, yes and yes.
Orlando Bloom is hot....
Okay, one too many times to the well....
TGIF 'cause I'm a little punchy...
As to your question (and not the phantasy lives of your readers) I've read Philip Roth's novel The Ghost Writer at least 15 times, and it's getting to be time to do it again.
You guys are too much fun. Or too much something. I wouldn't mind being judged by the great British minds of mystery I keep on my bookshelf (Sayers, Christie, James, Rendell, et. al.), but I equally enjoy Elmore Leonard!
A professor I had in college warned us all that books and movies were two different media, and story telling was going to be different in each. I think Tolkein's version and Jackson's version each stand as successes of their media.
All right, true confession time. I had no idea who Peter Jackson was. Never saw the movies, any of them. Never read the books, any of them. Not my genre, not my cup of tea.
Am I banished now? I'd rather be hot, but if I'm banished, maybe I could be hot because I'm banished?
Both read and watched LOTR... once ... loved them both. Love you, too, Bill, even though you're certifiable.
You guys can keep Cate and Liv and Orlando. Viggo makes my heart throb in every movie he's in, and I'm not even partial to blonds.
The book I've read into tatters is To Kill a Mockingbird. In fact, I have a signed copy on my book shelf that NO ONE is allowed to touch. Not even me.
Felicia, you can be banished and hot, and then unbanished, because I wouldn't want to be responsible for banishing hot.
And Sue Ann, I'm glad you came along to lift up the boys. If I was a girl, Viggo would be my dreamboat.
But, in all seriousness, Paul makes an excellent point with which I wholeheartedly agree. I was having fun with LOTR in movie vs. book form, but your point stands. And I'd forgotten about The Ghost Writer, which is a book I'd once upon a time read many times and now want to read again. Thanks for the reminder!
And To Kill A Mockingbird? What. A. Book.
Felicia,
Really, watch the movies. Lots of hot men, young and old, being manly. Really. My wife loves it. She thinks Viggo's well, hot.
And by the way, I was at the gym yesterday watching "Witness" on AMC while I was running on the treadmill, and that's one of Viggo Mortensen's first movies--he's an Amish guy.
Oh.My.God. This post and its comments are so entertaining...I just had to join in the fun!! Firstly, I love TLOTR the book, and TLOTR the movie, both for their own merits. The book has always been one of my favourite reads ever; I have also read my paperback copies to tatters. I now have the complete trilogy in a mammoth illustrated hardback tome. If you read that in bed and it drops on your head you know it!!
Aragorn is my fab chacacter in the book and the film, Viggo is complete and utter eye-candy. My daughter, now 15, has been in love with old Orly Bloom since she first saw him as Legolas.
The two downfalls of the film, I thought, was the omission of Tom Bombadil - such an excellent character should have been included in the movie - and Elijah Wood (what a milksop!)was completely miscast as Frodo.
But most everything else I loved...especially the visuals.
:D
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