Monday, May 10, 2010

Story Fodder Here Somewhere

The weekend before last I attended Malice Domestic, where I met too many wonderful people to list and had the honor of wearing a special green ribbon that read “Agatha Nominee.” Naturally, I had FUN.

I left my family home where things are usually predictable because I’m almost always home and in charge. This time Daddy was in charge. And only one thing was truly predictable.

There was going to be tattling.

The first night I called home, our daughter whispered into the phone. Now, she has a tiny voice so I couldn’t get everything she said. But the gist was Daddy made them rake the grass after he mowed the lawn. And he didn’t want them to wear their “good” sneakers because he didn’t want the grass to stain their sneakers. Unfortunately, our kids only have one pair of sneakers each. So my husband suggested she wear my white sneakers to rake grass. She knew better.

Next my husband tattled. I had recommended he take the kids to an Innovation and Creativity Festival at a local university on Saturday. Something for them to do together, you know. Well, the kids only wanted to observe, not participate. Then our son tattled that Daddy got upset with them.

My flight home was delayed first a half hour, then an hour and a half, then two and a half hours. I didn’t wait to learn how many more times they would delay it. I got on a plane to the next nearest city, which is an hour and fifteen minutes from my home. Good thing my husband likes to drive. We used the ride home to finish exchanging information about our weekends—or finish tattling.

Our daughter announced Daddy put the lid on her thermos so tight neither the stronger boys from her class nor the lunchroom ladies could open it. The school’s maintenance man had to do it.

Then my husband said he prepared chicken chili for dinner on Friday, homemade donuts for breakfast on Saturday, and French toast on Sunday. He proudly added, “And they both took showers every day.” And the kids chorused in unison, “Because he made us.” See, they like one day off a week from showering. I don’t know why—they’re kids.

So does this tattling, of which I’m also guilty, occur in your family, too? Do things run more predictably when you are in charge?


Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

Oh, I laughed so hard! YES. They tattle on their daddy, who clearly doesn't do anything the way that I do. Too funny, Lisa!

Glad you got home okay!

Mystery Writing is Murder

G.M. Malliet said...

Very cute!

What is with all the airport delays? Still volcano fallout? I know Sue Ann had problems, too.

I'm going to Europe soon, darn it. Somehow.

Keith Raffel said...

Yes indeed. Things chez nous can be a little less lax when Mom isn't around.

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

When I got home this morning, my 2 cats promptly got into a fur flying fight (BTW, it was after 2am). I think one was trying to stop the other from tattling.

So nice to have met so many Inkers for the 1st time at Malice!

Beth Groundwater said...

Given that only the dog and my husband are left home alone when I travel now, there's no tattling--on the dog's part, at least--but I do see evidence of leftover take-out pizza in the refrigerator, etc. :)

Lisa Bork said...

Elizabeth - We're sympatico. Thanks!

Gin - As long as your plane to Europe isn't stuck in Myrtle Beach, you'll have better luck than me. I've only experienced delays twice and Myrtle Beach was a factor both times.

Keith - Just makes them appreciate Mom :)

Sue Ann - Wonder what they had to tattle about. Any missing plants or new wear spots in furniture? Maybe they were just fighting to get to Mom first :) Glad we got a chance to meet and chat at Malice!

Beth - For once, no one tattled on the dog. Take-out is more common at my house when I'm in charge.

Kathleen Ernst said...

I particularly loved the image of the thermos no one could open. What I riot!

Darrell James said...

Lisa- The cats seem reluctant to snitch on Diana when I'm gone. Sometimes I think the three of them are conspiring against me.

Loved the thermos story too!

M Pax said...

Well, Husband and I are down to us and the cats.

The cats do tell on him if he is off schedule. So, yup, tattling. LOL

Lisa Bork said...

I've had cats, and they were way more capable of conspiring and tattling than my dog. As children, we had a Siamese, and if he had something to say, everyone knew it.

But my cats never licked the phone when I called home like my dog did while I was at Malice.

Alice Loweecey said...

My kids are 18 and 14, and they *still* try to tattle--generally when I'm breaking up a fight.

My cats don't necessarily tattle, but they do love to play "good cat, bad cat". THey'll ignore me, then one will deign to give me affection, then they'll play the ignore game again.

This is when life as a hermit seems more and more attractive. Good post!

Lisa Bork said...

Life as a hermit does call at times, doesn't it?! Thanks, Alice.