Thursday, August 19, 2010

Ten Best Things About Being a Writer

dog tired Usually, the dog days of summer don’t affect me. I’m content to plod along on whatever project I happen to be involved in. This year, for some reason—be it the unrelenting heat, the monsoon-like deluges, or the crazy pace I’ve been keeping—I’m ready to just kick back and relax. And read some of the dozens of dozens of books in my TBR pile.

So no deep-thinker post today (unlike all my other posts :) ). Instead, a top ten list (with apologies to Mr. Letterman):


The Ten Best Things About Being a Writer

10. People think you know stuff.

9. A business trip means going to the bookstore.

8. Fame and fortune. Not.

7. You can blame your misfortunes on your agent.

6. You “get” to blog and Facebook and Twitter.

5. Showering is optional.

4. You can kill people who annoy you with abandon (or with a gun or a knife).

3. Watching Comedy Central counts as research.

2. Those voices in your head are supposed to be there.

And the number one best thing about being a writer:

1. Casual Friday becomes Underwear Friday.


Got any to add?




Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

You wear underwear on Friday?

The only thing I'd like to add dovetails with your #2. When you act bizarre or say bizarre things, people just say “what do you expect, she’s a writer” as opposed to before when they just thought you were nuts and moved away from you. Being a writer allows you to be crazy without people rushing inside their homes and locking the doors.

Keith Raffel said...

Alan, what about finding people who will actually eat your banana bread?

Alan Orloff said...

Sue Ann - I knew there was a reason I turned to writing.

Keith - Many people have called me a master baker.

Anonymous said...

Alan - Oh, this is so true!! And thanks for the much-needed laugh. And may I add: You have a legitimate excuse for walking around mumbling to yourself without a Bluetooth device.

Keith Raffel said...

Alan, Name 2.

Beth Groundwater said...

Here's one:
People think you're more important than you really are, when all you do is record the conversations that the imaginary people are having in your head.

Darrell James said...

You can write-off Ho-Hos and Diet Ginger Ale as a business lunch.

Kathleen Ernst said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning. Here's one more benefit: We creative types can't be expected to do things like balance checkbooks.

Anonymous said...

Reading qualifies as "work"

Alan Orloff said...

Margot - I tried talking to myself once but I wouldn't listen.

Keith - I swiped that line from an old SNL skit with Buck Henry.

Beth - Hmm. People never think I'm important. Maybe I need a better haircut.

Darrell - Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Kathleen - Yes! Or clean bathrooms.

Michael - Yes! And staring off into space qualifies, too. Ah, the life of a writer.

Keith Raffel said...

Alan, you swiped the line from Buck Henry. Oh, yeah. You are allowed. As Picasso reputedly said, "“Good artists copy; great artists steal."

Michael Kelberer said...

Paraphrasing Anne Lamott: You don't have to get up every morning and go to someone else's office to do someone else's work!

G.M. Malliet said...

I have nothing to add except I loved this blog post.