Monday, October 17, 2011

Zombie Apocalypse: IT WILL HAPPEN!

I was recently asked in an interview at the blog site Rabid Reads, (to check out the interview and other blog stops check out Harlow Gazette) if I had a zombie apocalypse plan. My answer, being I am a strange person from strange stock, of course was yes. We've had once since I was a teenager after my brothers and I watched Night of the Living Dead. We were so frightened about the end of the world we all sat huddled together and discussed where we would go, what weapons we would need, and who would be the first to be sacrificed for the greater good (sorry, Trevor.) As the years progressed the zombie grew in popularity due in part to video games and their general awesomeness. We each devoured Max Brooks' seminal Zombie Survival Guide. I'm sure you've read it (hell even if you don't believe in the zombie apocalypse it's a great manual for general survival) but if not it covers the best ways to dispatch the undead, which are the best weapons, and who to sacrifice for the greater good (still you, Trev).

I thought the Harlow family was alone in their paranoia, going to the gun range to practice head shots, playing numerous zombie video games, and amassing kick ass weapons like a machete and other blades (I even have a stake in case a vampire pops by), but I was wrong. At least three people commented their families have a plan too. Hell, even the CDC put up a webpage that crashed because so many people wanted to view it about what to do in case of zombie attack. Even the CDC has concerns. IT WILL HAPPEN! BE PREPARED!

My Zombie Readiness Kit:
Bette the Machete
Baseball bat
Far too many guns for living in the suburbs
Approx 25 knives my mother confiscated from my brothers through the years
Coca-Cola Classic
37 bottles of wine
Kindle w/dozens of zombie books for "research"
Canned goods-mostly peaches and Spam for a balanced meal
iPod w/butt kicking tunes since slaughtering the undead is more fun with a soundtrack
Kill or be killed attitude

Note: This was the same kit I have prepared for a hurricanes, earthquakes, blizzards, Cthulhu attack, and a boring Friday night.

So what about you? Have you and your loved ones prepared for the undead onslaught? Did I forget anything? How many hours of your life have you lost playing games like Dead Island and my personal favorite Zombies Ate My Neighbors to get ready? Discuss.

On a side note, my blog tour rages on. Go to for all the stops. Also if you're in the Richmond, VA area Oct 28th I'll be on Virginia This Morning on CBS from 9-10AM and then on Sunday 29th I'll be at The Fountain in Richmond from 1-2PM for my very first signing! Until next time.

Jennifer Harlow, author of Mind Over Monsters, out now!


Vicki Doudera said...

Jen, my oldest son -- Matt -- is right with you. Last night he devoured the season premiere of a FOZ zombie show... you'll know the name, I'm sure. I drifted back and forth, in and out of the room, with him giving me tips on how to vanquish the undead. At 23 he is an avowed zombie fan and yet super squeamish when it comes to getting a tick off the dog. (which also happened last night.)

Vicki Doudera said...

ooops.. that's FOX. No contacts yet.

Lois Winston said...

I think we live on different planets. I'm far more worried about terrorist attacks than zombies, vampires, or any other mythical creatures. Living only a few miles outside of NYC, my fears are a lot more real, sadly, and all the stockpiled Spam in the world isn't going to help.

Alan Orloff said...

In the event of the un-dead-thinkable, I'm coming over to your house, Jennifer. I'll bring a corkscrew.

Kathleen Ernst said...

Oh dear. I am *so* unprepared.

Darrell James said...

Me too!

Terri Bischoff said...

Jenna -

I am not prepared, but based on your zombie readiness kit, this is what mine will look like:

a bottle of tequila
a bottle of vodka
a bottle of gin
Diet Dr. Pepper
Pizza rolls

Yep, I am gonna get seriously drunk. And if I am not killed by the zombies, I will need the diet Dr. Pepper, advil and pizza rolls in the morning! :)

Beth Groundwater said...

LOL, Jennifer, I love the items in your preparedness kit, especially the 37 bottles of wine. I might add a bottle of limoncello to that, plus one of vodka and some green olives. And a case of dark chocolate candy bars. Then I'd be set! :)

Sebastian Stuart said...

i think i'll just offer myself up and join them.

Jennifer Harlow said...

I really think I'll be dead person # 3. At least I'll be too plastered to feel it. :P

Keith Raffel said...

I'm kinda with Terri. A six pack and a Patxi's cheese pizza and I'd be ready for the undead.