MY GRAMMAR PET PEEVE

When I was in junior high school (which my kids will tell you was around the time the dinosaurs roamed the earth,) I learned grammar. Boy, did I learn grammar! You had no choice if you had Peggy Riley Hughes for your English teacher. I’ve since come to realize that the world could use a few more Peggys.

As writers, we have the license to take liberties in our writing. When we’re writing dialogue, no one expects us to write in perfectly formed sentences. People don’t always speak in perfectly formed sentences. We speak in sentence fragments. Style often dictates that sentence fragments also be used in narrative. But there are grammar rules that should never be broken.

If you want to be a writer, you need a firm grasp of the English language. You may ask why this is important. Won’t the editor correct whatever needs correcting? Once upon a time that may have been the case but not any more. Editors don’t have the luxury of time to mollycoddle an author who refuses to learn how to write well, no matter how good a storyteller that author is. There are plenty of other well-written manuscripts sitting in piles on editors’ desks. No editor is interested in a high maintenance author. Submit a manuscript full of grammatical errors to an editor/agent and you’ll receive a swift rejection.

As I said above, thanks to Peggy Riley Hughes, I know grammar. However, thanks to Peggy Riley Hughes, when I read books where grammar rules are ignored, I’m pulled right out of a story. The grammar error that grates my nerves the most is the one people deliberately make because they think it sounds more intelligent and educated. Because this is such a pervasive error, I often find it on every other page of many books.

Are you ready to learn that error?

Drumroll, please…

My grammar pet peeve is the misuse of pronouns.

A little background on pronouns. There are 3 types:

Nominative: I, you, he, she, it, we, they, and who

Possessive: my, your, yours, his, her, hers, its, our, ours, their, theirs, and whose

Objective: me, you, him, her, it, us, them, and whom

Too many people substitute the nominative form for the objective form. The nominative form is used when the pronoun is the subject of a sentence. The objective form is used when the pronoun is the direct object of the sentence or is part of a prepositional phrase.

WRONG: He likes Mary and I.

RIGHT: He likes Mary and me.

WRONG: He gave the papers to Mary and I.

RIGHT: He gave the papers to Mary and me.

You wouldn’t say, He likes I, so why would you say, He likes Mary and I? Nor would you say, He gave the papers to I, so why would you say, He gave the papers to Mary and I?

The use of the nominative in direct objects and prepositional phrases are the worst pronoun rule offenders, but here are a few more pronoun rules to keep in mind:

If a pronoun follows than or as, mentally insert the missing words to determine the correct case.

WRONG: I am as tall as him.

RIGHT: I am as tall as he (is).

WRONG: The coach picks John more often than I.

RIGHT: The coach picks John more often than (he picks) me.

Avoid reflexive pronouns -- pronouns ending in self or selves. Reflexive pronouns are used only when they refer back to the subject: He injured himself.

WRONG: The award was shared by my partner and myself.

RIGHT: The award was shared by my partner and me.

So there you have it. A few simple grammar rules governing pronouns that will make you stand out from the grammar-challenged masses.

Do you have a grammar pet peeve?

Lois Winston is currently hard at work on the third book in her Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries series. The first book, Assault With A Deadly Glue Gun, was a January 2011 release and received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Death by Killer Mop Doll will be a January 2012 release. Visit Lois at http://www.loiswinston.com and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog, http://anastasiapollack.blogspot.com.

Memorial Day Remembering

So I was chatting with my partner Betty about what I wanted to talk about during my upcoming blog turn here on Inkspot. Betty said to me, "As we celebrate Memorial Day weekend we should take time to thank those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms. Without that sacrifice, the very words you battle to write could've been censored, your true voice drown out."

I thought about her words. She's absolutely right. My Betty is a very smart cookie... and is usually pretty quiet. She's happier to contemplate her next musical CD purchase than think deep and philosophical thoughts. However, every once in awhile she spits out a zinger that's unexpected, eloquent, and spot on. Indeed, because of the noble sacrifices our Armed Forces have made, everyone's voice has a fair chance to be heard, whether their point of view is agreed upon or not.

People write and say many things, sometimes things not everyone agrees with. Having the ability, having the very right, as an author, to pen a book on any topic we choose is something we can't ever forget. Thanks to the 1st Amendment, freedom of speech is one of our core rights. And thanks to our Armed Forces defending, to the death if necessary, our rights--our 1st Amendment, the rest of the Amendments, and our Consitituion--we have the ability to speak and write our minds as we please.

So this blog entry is dedicated to those who have fallen in the defense of our country so that we may continue to have rights and freedoms. So that we may write what is in our hearts. This is for those who have been injured--both mentally and physically--protecting America, protecting my right to independent thought. This is for those who continue to safeguard our way of life. Thank you for your sacrifice.

Inkspot News - May 28, 2011

Beth Groundwater has two signings this weekend for Deadly Currents. Today, Saturday, she has a wine & cheese signing from 2 - 4 PM at Black Cat Books, 720 Manitou Avenue, Manitou Springs, CO. Tomorrow, Sunday, she'll be participating in Paddlefest in Buena Vista, CO, signing in front of Colorado Kayak Supply, 327 E Main Street, from 1 - 4 PM.Over at The Rap Sheet, Keith Raffel tells "The Story Behind the Story" of his new ebook thriller, Drop By Drop. (Click here.)

Old News

As I write this, the “May 21, 2011 Rapture” predicted by a California preacher has failed to materialize. It was all over the Internet for a week beforehand and one day after. Now? Not a word on the first page of Google, CNN, Yahoo, or MSN. The world moves so fast today that like the “Rapture moment” any hot news item may be cold and old in 24 hours.

The mystery series I’m writing takes place in the present day. I always have to make certain that I don’t have my characters talking about a fad that couldn’t hold the headlines longer than a month. We can always count on “stupid celebrity tricks” to be in the news, but beyond the expected drugs-and-rehab duet, it’s impossible to predict which celebrity will be all over the headlines by the time my next book goes to press. In addition, I’m a geek who doesn’t keep up on fashion, but fortunately I have co-workers who do.

I mention Paris Hilton in my next book, but will her name make people scratch their heads come February? Will the musician I have my characters listen to be a one-hit wonder? I’ve read recently published books that referenced an event whose fifteen minutes were over six months ago.

Writers: How do you avoid “missing the moment?” Do you keep tabs on current events in news, sports, entertainment? Do you beg your copyeditor to let you make a last-minute change? Or do you only make references to long-lasting celebrities and news—the Beatles and gas prices, for example?

Readers: Do you just chuckle when a present-day book talks about something outdated? Or does it take you out of the story altogether?

If you’ll excuse me, I need to refresh MSNBC again.

Newspaper photo copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Take this Job and ....

By Deborah Sharp

A guy wrote recently in the New York Times Sunday magazine about his worst job ever: Dressed in a gorilla suit, he delivered flowers, cakes, or balloons, even doing a monkey dance or singing songs. He recalled the night that a bunch of drunken college boys celebrated their pal's birthday by dousing the gorilla-gram guy with beer.

Reading about the beer-swilling celebrants got me thinking about awful jobs. High on my list was a cocktail waitress gig at a college bar near the University of Georgia. It was the 80s; I was in grad school, and always short of money. The tips were good, but I had to put up with being pawed at by legions of UGA frat boys. Even worse were the aging alumni, who'd return on game days in huge, tricked-out RVs with horns that blared ''Dixie.'' They were old enough to know better, but there they were: Drunk, stupid, dressed from head-to-toe in red and black to relive their good ol' boy glory days as Georgia Bulldog football fans.

Like the gorilla guy, I had plenty of beers spilled on me when I worked at O'Malley's Tavern. Unlike the pawing, though, I'm pretty sure the dousings were unintentional. A Ph.D. candidate in psychology, I chalked all those beer baths up to alcohol-induced impairment of sensory motor functions. Sloppy drunks, in other words.

That wasn't even my worst job as I worked my way through UGA. Ask me sometime about being a member of the late-summer cleaning crew charged with sprucing up Sanford Stadium for the opening day of football season. My job was washing down the plastic seats. They numbered eighty-some thousand back then, and most of them covered in pigeon poo. The upside: Swabbing bird turds made the spilled beer seem benign.

Joel Lovell, who wrote the Times' essay on wearing the monkey suit, concluded his piece by revealing that one of the beer-swilling college students gave him a $30 tip. He said he could have rejected the money, asserting some pride. But he didn't. ''The pay was worth the humiliation,'' he wrote.

Is it?

I look back, and remember the tips I pocketed at O'Malley's. I kept my mouth shut, plastered a smile on my face, and learned to side-step the worst of the roaming hands. The pay didn't make the humiliation worthwhile ... it just made it a necessary evil.

What was your most humiliating job? Looking back, would you have done things differently?

Once a Fanboy…

During the past two years, I’ve been to a number of conventions and book festivals, and I’ve enjoyed them all. One of the coolest aspects is getting to meet some authors who I’ve been reading for many (many!) years. And when I do, a strange feeling comes over me, as I morph into Fanboy.

Here’s a sample conversation:

Me: I-I-I-I’m a huge fan of your work.
Big-Name Author: Thank you very much.
Me:
B-N A:
Me:
B-N A: Well, nice meeting you…

It doesn’t seem to happen with people in other glamour occupations. If I happen to see a movie star or athlete, I’ll notice, but I don’t get weak in the knees. I once talked to Patrick Ewing in a shopping mall, and my pulse didn’t even start racing. For some reason, though, there’s something about meeting a favorite, Big-Name author, in person, that gets me drooling. I mean, come on, these people have written books that have captured my imagination. Taken me to worlds I’d never dreamed of. Kept me enthralled for hours.

Of course I idolize them! I wanna be just like them when I grow up!

I know it’s not cool; I know it’s not professional. I know it’s a bit childish, even. After all, they put their culottes on the same way I do. I just can’t help it! (Maybe it’s because I was a reader—and not a writer—for so many years.)

Some Big-Name Author encounters:

I got blurbs from two of my favorite Big-Name Authors* (thanks again, guys!). I took a picture with Big-Name Author* at Malice Domestic (by the way, Jessie 2 or Vicki, was it taken on one of your cameras?). A very gracious Big-Name Author* moderated my panel at Malice. At a ThrillerFest dinner, I spilled an ice-cold beverage in Big-Name Author’s* lap. At another ThrillerFest event, I got introduced by one Big-Name Author* and met another Big-Name Author*, the keynote speaker. Recently, I chatted with a Big-Name Author* at a local MWA event, and managed not to make a fool of myself. And I’ve shaken hands with a number of other Big-Name Authors* along the way.

(I know what you’re thinking. These Big-Name authors are just people. And you are correct. They. Are. Just. People.)

Not too long ago, I was invited to be in a writer’s group with some Big-Name Authors**, one of whom wrote one of my favorite books EVER. (It’s a wonder I don’t drool every time we get together.) And now that author is asking me for critiques? Positively surreal.

Here’s my question to you MInkers: Does the fanboy (or fangirl) phenomenon ever fade? I kinda hope it doesn’t!

Alan

*Big-Name Authors, not in any order

• Michael Palmer




• Reed Farrel Coleman




• Sue Grafton




• Michael Connelly




• Andrew Gross




• Harlan Coben




• Margaret Maron




• John Lescroart




• John Gilstrap




• P.J. Parrish (both of them)




• Jeffery Deaver




• Brad Meltzer

**Sorry, some things should be kept private.

Jennifer Harlow Reporting from the Trenches of BookExpo America

Let me just first say hello and thank you for reading my inaugural posting here on InkSpot. I'm the author of "Mind Over Monsters" out October 2011, pre-order today! Okay, the shameless promotion of this post is over. Time for the good stuff.

When I was first notified I would be attending Book Expo, the biggest book trade show in the world, I was so excited. Trip to NYC! Free books! My first signing! Free books! But really it was as if I had come full circle. Twice I had attended the pre-show where seminars were given on how to break into publishing followed by pitch sessions to agents. My second time at BEA was when I got my agent, so to have a physical copy of my hopes and dreams in my hand with my agent by my side was surreal. Wonderful, but surreal.

I started the day going to the Jacob J. Javitz Convention Center without a clue what I was doing. I knew that I was signing at 11:30 but the rest of the time was mine. Major publishers, minor publishers, book stores, anything related to books had a booth. The booths ran the gamut from just a paper sign over a table to huge displays with spots for authors to sign. I got an autograph (and free book) from Charlaine Harris at the Mystery Writers of America booth and spied a Real Housewife walking to her signing. People would wait in line for half an hour to get a signed copy or advance copy of a book (myself included).

Then came time for my signing. I met my handlers at the Midnight Ink booth and was escorted to the green room where other authors like me waited for our time in the autographing area. (Everyone was bummed Caroline Kennedy had to cancel, rumors abounded.) Then I made my way to my seat, oddly not nervous. I had set my expectations very low. If one person wanted the book I'd be happy. But right away there was a line! And there were only two lulls when no one was there! I think 50ish people came, spoke to me, and had me sign my baby. Most were librarians, some were bloggers and reviewers, some just liked the cover and thought they'd try it out or give it to someone else as a gift. The time just flew by as fast as the books. It went so much better than I expected and the book isn't even out yet.

Now I sit in my hotel room a few blocks from Times Square exhausted but happy. My first professional apperance done with hopefully a ton more to go through the years. But I'll never forget my first.

This is Jennifer Harlow, signing out from BookExpo America.

The Real Deal on My Ebook

Keith Raffel here.

As I wrote in my last posting here, I’m doing some diversification of my literary portfolio. My agent in New York has a manuscript he’s circulating to publishers. He even has another in his back pocket. So I held back a third manuscript and have decided to publish it as an ebook original. Drop By Drop draws heavily on the four years I spent in Washington working as the counsel to the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.

Once I decided to go down the ebook route, all those housekeeping chores the publisher had done on my first two books became my responsibility. So I figured out how to copyright the manuscript, obtain an ISBN number, and more.

Then there’s coming up with a cover. I didn’t have much to do with the cover on my first two books. The publisher asked for ideas for a cover for Dot Dead. I said any cover was okay with me except for a woman dead in a bed. Guess what showed up on the cover? (See left. Over time, it did grow on me.) When the publisher came up with a preliminary cover for Smasher, I was delighted to be asked for comments. I took the request seriously and showed it to a few trusted booksellers and relayed their suggestions back to the publisher. No changes were made.

With Drop By Drop I was on my own for the cover. I found a designer and told him what I had in mind. I took the first draft of the cover and posted it up on Facebook for comments. It turns out my friends, especially Shelly, know what they’re talking about. This time suggestions were taken into account, and we discarded a tricolor cover and ended up with the one on the left.

Over the weekend I uploaded the text of Drop by Drop onto Amazon (click here) and Smashwords (click here). Smashwords in turn makes certain the ebook goes into the catalogs of Apple’s iBookstore and Barnesandnoble.com. I'll let you know how things go.