Blurb It Forward, by Jess Lourey

I have a question of much urgency: if you are an author, what is your policy on writing blurbs for other authors? If you are a reader, how much credibility do you give book cover blurbs? If you are an ethicist, what is your stand on being nice over being honest?

Here’s why I ask: just this week, I’ve been asked to blurb three books by first-time authors, all three published by small regional presses. I’ve been in their shoes, not knowing anyone in the business, needing that snippet of praise to put on the cover of May Day in 2005 so it didn’t look like the self-published loner in the corner. And you know what? I found out that the mystery community is incredibly supportive. Some of my favorite authors agreed to blurb me, an unknown writer, and thanks to their kindness to a stranger, I was able to break into the business with a fighting chance. I’d like to pay that forward, and as such, I’ve blurbed every booked that I’ve been asked to since then. Some were very good and some were just okay, but I could find something honestly nice to say about all of them.

But this time is different. One of the books I’ve just been asked to blurb is bad. Truly, irredeemably awful. In the off-chance that the gentleman reads this blog, I won’t use any direct quotes, but here are representative lines taken from “The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines”:

“Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.”

“"The heaving waves on the vast, ink-black ocean sent a salty spray over the proud bow of the three-masted ship, leaving beads of water on the exposed alabaster skin above the bodice of the tall, raven-haired woman who stood sobbing on the deck, her salty tears mixing with the storm-tossed sea."

"Gentle cascades of vermilion poured over Daphne's heaving, lily-white bosom. 'Call 911, Scooby,' she breathed."

Yup. Throw in a lot of product placement (I counted three businesses mentioned on one page alone: Wal-Mart, Applebees, and Starbucks, as in the main character had to stop at all three and tell us what he bought/ate).

Besides weak (over)writing, frequent grammar and spelling errors (it is an ARC), this one book I’ve been asked to blurb lacks any plot. Supposedly a mystery, I was on page 172 of 212 before a dead body appeared. Most everything to that point was a summary of the backstory peppered with sex scenes too bad to read but not bad enough to be funny.

So what do I do now? This gentleman worked hard on this novel, I know he did. He is also kind, polite, and intelligent. With a good editor and more practice, I don’t see any reason why he can’t improve his craft. And you know what? My first novel sucked, too. It was so bad, in fact, that I never found a publisher for it (thought it was because I was ahead of my time; in retrospect, it was just a shitty book). I want to encourage his dream and his discipline, but I don’t want to mislead an innocent shopper into dropping $15 on this sad puppy. Oh, and he needs the blurb by Friday. Help me! (WWJPD?)

Write of Spring

Every year since 2002, on the first Saturday of spring, Minnesota's premier mystery bookstore, Once Upon a Crime, holds its annual Write of Spring. Pat and Gary, the owners of Once Upon a Crime, bill their store as "informal, low-tech, and happy to provide the best customer service around." The Write of Spring epitomizes this attitude.

Over 60 authors were present, hanging out in one-hour shifts to talk to, meet with, and sign books for fans and aspiring writers. Many of us blur the line between fan and author when we find ourselves standing between the likes of William Kent Krueger and Laura Childs while chatting with Ruth Jordan about the future of the mystery genre. All this in a tiny store no larger than my dining room and kitchen combined, no cover charge, no pretension.

For me, this is what independent bookstores are all about. You have camaraderie, connecting, employees who can give you an exhaustive answer to the question, "If I like this book, what other books would I like?" Once Upon a Crime, whose motto is, "For a Good Crime, Call," also hosts book groups and writing groups as well as putting on weekly signings.

Pat and Gary, who incidentally got married in their store two years as Gary battled leukemia, put as much effort into supporting emerging authors as the bestsellers. I remember setting up my first signing at the store, for May Day, which came out in 2006. My ego was bruised from trying to set up events at larger stores. I expected more of the same from Once Upon a Crime, but Pat's email response to my request read something like this: "May Day was a hoot! You let us know what day and time you want to set up a signing, and we'll make it happen. In the meanwhile, I ordered 40 copies of your book, so stop by and sign stock. Looking forward to meeting you!"

Hunh? She'd not only read my book but had ordered copies of it? If you've dealt with Once Upon a Crime, I know you've had a similar experience. They're champs in the mystery field, the unsung underdogs who connect readers directly with writers, and vice versa. And I bet they're not the only ones out there. What's your favorite indie, and why?

(The photos are, starting with the top one and working down: Pat, co-owner of the store, along with a children's book author; a writer of books, Lori L. Lake, and William Kent Krueger--one of the best mystery writers out there; Ellen Hart and Michael Allen Mallory. I apologize for not knowing the names of two of the authors pictured. I'm lame that way.)