The 10 Things I Learned at Left Coast Crime

A guest post by Jess Lourey

1. It's okay to be a humorous mystery writer. Really, it is. Left Coast Crime is the only conference that celebrates the art of combining murder with mirth. They offer the Lefty Award for best humorous mystery, which I'm proud to say I was nominated for. And lost. I'm considering putting that on future book covers: "Lefty-losing author Jess Lourey…"

2. Self-publishing ebooks can be profitable, and as of right now, Kindle (Amazon) is where most of that money is being made.

3. If you are considering self-publishing, there is an awesome site called CrowdSpring where authors can post a description of their book for thousands of graphic designers to read. The designers, usually a couple dozen per book, will each create a book cover based on the description. If the author sees one she likes, she can buy it, usually for a couple hundred dollars. If she doesn't like any of them, she doesn't pay.

4. Book trailers are a waste of time and money *unless* they help the reader to connect with the writer, either by answering interview questions or talking about places/people/events that inspired the book and maybe filming at associated locations. Laura Lippmann and William Kent Krueger both do this well.

5. Harley Jane Kozak, the conference’s toastmaster, wears size 9 shoes. She also starred in Arachnaphobia! How cool is that?

6. Along that same line, did you know that Parnell Hall, panelist moderator at Left Coast Crime, wrote the screenplay for C.H.U.D.? I cornered him by the ATM and made him admit to it. I think he thought I was making fun of him, but I'm a sucker for campy horror movies. Give me a glimpse of a zipper in the monster's back, and I'm yours for life.

7. It is incorrect to refer to a Scottish accent vs. a British accent, as Scots are also Brits. Thanks for this, Simon Wood. I blame the American education system for my ignorance.

8. Volunteer at any conference you attend. It's the best way to make connections, particularly for us introverts, and you can feel good at the same time.

9. The television and film industries are going the way of the music and book industries in that they are becoming democratized. Some of the best TV shorts and films are coming from independent people with no connections to the industry, no formal training, and little money.

10. Bring your own books to a conference, if you can. The on-site bookstores can only bring in so much, but they're often happy to sell on consignment.

11. I know, I know, the title says ten, but I didn’t really learn this one; I already knew it: Keith Raffel, Vicki Doudera, Shannon Baker, William Kent Krueger, GM Malliet, and Catriona McPherson are all fabulous people to hang out with!

Jess Lourey is the Lefty-losing author of the humorous Murder-by-Month mysteries. November Hunt was released March 2012, and in a starred review, Booklist says of it, "It's not easy to make people laugh while they're on the edge of their seats, but Lourey pulls it off!"

Misunderestimating, by Jess Lourey

I was recently reminiscing with a friend about a gentleman we both worked for. He has since risen very high in the world and is now the commanding general of the ROTC for the state he lives in. At the time we worked for him, he was just our boss who had a bad habit of assuming everyone saw the world the same way he did. My favorite illustration of that was relayed to me by Catherine, who speaks Spanish and went on a church trip to Mexico with him as his translator. On their third day, the two of them presented to 60 teenaged girls who wanted to learn about volunteer opportunities in the U.S. My boss, thinking to set them at ease, told them he was happy to be there. They received this well. He told a couple jokes,which Catherine translated, and the whole audience erupted in laughter and applause. Encouraged and possibly suffering from jet lag, he next told them that they were foxes. My friend Catherine slid him a look, but he was too caught up in the positive energy, so she shrugged and translated, "he thinks you are small furry rodents.” The 17 year-olds are all WTF? as he is leering appreciatively at them, and he moves on from there, having completely lost his audience.

Language barriers (and lack of personal filters) can cause a lot of misunderstandings. For example, there is the “Ladies are requested not to have children in the drinking lounge” in a Norwegian bar, or “Drop your trousers here” at a Bangkok dry cleaner. In writing fiction, though, misunderstandings are more subtle, as I’m reminded every time I get my manuscript back from my fabulous friends and family who edit for me. Sections I thought were funny are…not. I was also advised to remove “BFF” and “WTF” from my most recent manuscript by my mother, who said many people will not know what they mean. I had a horrible character say a horrible thing, and I was told by several people that the horrible thing was so offensive that it took their breath away, in a bad way. They said it was too jarring for a humorous mystery.

I listen to everything they say and play it against my internal rubric. I know, most of the time, what good writing looks like and what bad writing looks like. It’s just that when it’s my own, it’s hard to see the difference. Until someone points it out to me, that is. I end up making most of the changes recommended to me by editors because most of the time they’re right.

My question to you is, how do writers tell the difference between what must stay and what should go?

Octoberfest

Jess Lourey

September Fair, the fifth book in my Murder-by-Month series, comes out this September, though it may be available as early as August. This one is far and away the best in the series, and my plan was to quit on this high note. I’ve got a historical novel in the queue, and I’m hammering out a magical realism story that has completely captivated my imagination and it thrills me to write it.

Plus, I’ve recently fallen in love (first time in eight years!), I have two kids who each just got a new little animal (one puppy and one kitten), and I’ve got a full-time job. All these other draws on my time pretty much guaranteed that the Murder-by-Month series would need to take a break after September Fair.

So why can’t I let the series drop? Why do these Battle Lake plot ideas, character lines, and setting details pop unwanted into that area between my brain and eyes, where they spread like creeping Charlie? Sigh. It’s gotten so bad that I asked my agent to ask my publisher if they want another, tentatively titled Octoberfest, even though I’d already told them I didn’t want to write it. I’m waiting to hear back. Part of me hopes they don’t offer me a decent contract so I can get on with the rest of my life. The rest of me wants an excuse to write that damn novel.

And I’ve heard from my readers. They both want me to write Octoberfest, too. Do you have one of those? A story or novel idea that won’t let you go, even though you know your attention is needed elsewhere, the literary equivalent of the dark-haired, black-eyed man on a motorcycle, sitting outside your house come hithering you when you know you should be inside cleaning and baking? (p.s. I may have let you too far into my head with that analogy.)

What Have You Done for Me Lately? by Jess Lourey

I have just been elected to the national board of the Mystery Writers of America (MWA). Thank you to all of you who voted for me, even if you just checked the box next to my name because there were only as many candidates as there were spots.

Harlan Coben is the current president, and other board members include mystery-writing greats like Lee Child and Reed Farrel Coleman. They're flying us all out to New York in January to rub elbows (lay money on me making an ass of myself) and get oriented.

I don't know what crazy series of events led to my nomination for this position, but now that I'm in, I feel obligated to represent what I know: the small press mystery writers, independent bookstores, and cozy/soft-boiled readers out there. To those of you in those categories, I ask you:

What do you want MWA to do for you? It's a huge organization with some big guns in it, originally founded by amazing mystery writers in 1945 who believed that "Murder doesn't pay--enough" (here's a slightly more detailed history). MWA has brought recognition and respect to the field over the years, but now when I hear mystery writers mention the organization, it's only as a line in their bio. It doesn't have to be that way. Here are some points I'd like to see addressed:

• Could MWA have more visibility in schools and/or bring mystery reading program to at-risk/low reading score schools? MWA Reads is a wonderful program that's grown dusty; would it be worth it to revive to help promote all the great YA mystery authors out there?
• Genre diversity. Edgar-nominated novels, while all amazing, are almost without exception dark, urban, and gritty works that feature heterosexual male protagonists. Is it time to broaden what the MWA/standard-bearer considers a great mystery? Can it be soft-boiled or a cozy, take place in a small town, or feature a gay and/or female and/or supernatural protagonist? Or maybe, how are the judges chosen (besides based on their heroic commitment to the field) and what are their guidelines? I don't know the answer, but this is a conversation that I'd like to enter at the national level.
• How can we link MWA up more actively with book clubs? Create a list of books, organized by sub-genre, that have discussion questions included and whose authors are available for teleconferences, free of charge? Get the list to box stores, independents, libraries, and book club sites?
• I found this on the MWA website: "MWA also works to educate writers and those who aspire to write regarding their rights and interests, and to make writers and readers aware of matters which may affect crime writing through legislation, publishing industry practices, judicial decisions, or in other ways. " How do we help published writers get better contracts, represent a united front to publishers, get more film and TV options? Is this something we need to pursue more actively?
• What about health care for members? This came up in the past. Should it be revisited?
• Recently, the guidelines as to who can be considered an active member (or a published author) were updated, eliminating a wave of small press authors. Should that decision be revisited, and if so, why?

Are any of the above issues important to you? Do you have others that aren't listed up there that I should bring to the board? What would your ideal mystery-writing organization do for you and for the community? If you aren't a member of MWA, why is that? Please start a lively discussion that I can take to NYC, or, if you'd rather your comments remain anonymous, email me at jesslourey@yahoo.com, and I'll forget where I heard them.

p.s. One thing everyone who knows anything about MWA agrees on--Margery Flax does a fantastic job as coordinator/supporter of the organization.

The Janet Evanovich Interview, by Jess Lourey

Thanks to Janet Evanovich, I write humorous mysteries. (At least I hope they're funny.) About seven years ago, I was having no luck getting my embarrassingly autobiographical "fiction" published, and I needed something to distract me. A friend suggested I read One for the Money. Couldn't put it down. What a person likes to read is personal, but I consider that book one of the top ten best mysteries ever written. It hit all the right notes--suspense, humor, sex, food. When I found out there were more in the series, I devoured them. When I was at the end, and she wasn't writing fast enough, I decided to try my hand at it, and so, the Murder-by-Month series was born.

So yeah. She's one of my idols. And on a whim, I recently emailed her and asked if she would agree to a brief interview, made up of five questions only a Stephanie Plum geek could love. Imagine my surprise when she graciously answered them! Here is the interview:

JESS: You are famous for your dedication to your fans, touring when it is no longer a career necessity. What keeps you going back on the road?

JANET: It's a way of staying in touch with my readers. And I love room service.

JESS: Ha! That room service never seems to find me in the basement of the Motel 8, but it's probably for the best. I don't know what they'd bring, but I'm pretty sure it'd have a hair in it. OK, next question. Tess Gerritsen tells a story of having one of the big dogs reviewing her first book. The review said, essentially, "This book will only appeal to readers who move their lips." Do you have any mortifying interview/review anecdotes that could make us mere mortal writers feel better about ourselves?

JANET: First, let me say that I've been known to move my lips while reading. Second, stop reading the reviews and interviews and use that time to improve a couple sentences in chapter three. Third, just about everything I do is mortifying ...it's a way of life.

JESS: Hallelujah! Back in your pre-published days, you wrote a few novels that would be categorized as literary, or mainstream, fiction. Ever think about dusting those off, revising them using your hard-won writing skills, and publishing them?

JANET: Nope. They wouldn't meet reader expectation in their present form and the editing would be so time consuming it wouldn't be cost effective.

JESS: And I certainly don't want to pull you away from creating more Stephanie Plum adventures! OK, Mark Twain once said, "I prefer having written to writing." (He also said, "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society," but that's beside the point). How about for you? Do you enjoy the act of writing, or is it still a challenge, albeit a grand one?

JANET: I prefer writing to having written. I love the process, the isolation, the unique world I go into every morning. Once the book is off my desk it belongs to someone else. The only really good part to having written is that someone sends me a check which allows me to go on writing.

JESS: That is a nice perk! OK, here's the big one, the one many of your fans are dying to know. If you were single and Joe Morelli and Ranger both came to life, whom would you choose? (Morelli would come with a lifetime supply of Cheetos; Ranger w/limitless grocery store birthday cake with crusty buttercream frosting.)

JANET: That's an easy one ...birthday cake.

Ha ha! Thank you to the lovely, ever-funny, and talented Janet Evanovich for her time! In celebration of funny mysteries everywhere, I'm sending out a free copy of August Moon to the three people who write the the best (as judged by me, using entirely arbitrary and shifting criteria) comment to this post. Here's some prompts: Whose your favorite character in the Stephanie Plum novels? Who do you think is the best actor to play Stephanie Plum, Grandma Mazur, Ranger, Joe Morelli, Lulu, Vinnie, etc. in a movie version of the series? Would you pick the Cheetos or the birthday cake? What writer(s) inspire you?

Happy fall, and thanks for reading!